


I didn’t mean to call you so late at night, but I’m spiraling and need a savior

by skullpen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Non-binary Hanamaki, Self-Doubt, Sharing a Bed, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 15:01:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15270039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skullpen/pseuds/skullpen
Summary: Matsukawa is overthinking and can't seem to stop. He calls Hanamaki in hopes that they can help him calm down.





	I didn’t mean to call you so late at night, but I’m spiraling and need a savior

Matsukawa could _not_ sleep. He laid sprawled out on his bed, staring up at the ceiling of his bedroom, watching the blades of the ceiling fan move in the dark. It was another hot summer night, and he was supposed to be getting up early tomorrow. His family was going to go to the beach like they do every summer. But his brain wouldn’t shut down. He kept thinking. And thinking. And _thinking_. The thoughts in his head only growing worse and worse until his heart ached and he couldn’t take it anymore.

He turned over onto his side and grabbed his phone. Tapping on his most recent contact, he put his phone up to his ear, listening to the automated ringing. The other person picked up but he was only greeted with a grunt of acknowledgement.

He was silent. After all the internal build up to make the call, he hadn’t thought of what to say. He had just wanted someone to talk to but couldn’t make his brain or mouth work now that there was someone there.

Apparently, he had been silent for too long as a sleepy voice called him back from his momentary panic. “Issei?” Hanamaki’s voice mumbled, clearly fighting to stay awake.

“Takahiro…” he finally said, just to let them know he was there.

He heard an exhausted sigh before they spoke again. “What’s up?” Matsukawa’s mouth quirked into a bit of a smile briefly. They must be too tired to give their usual sass, but that also made him feel bad. Now he had to come up with something… A reason for calling so late at night…

“I’m horny,” he said quickly, immediately regretting the words as they fell from his mouth.

“Seriously??” Hanamaki’s voice sparked, annoyance clear in their tone.

Matsukawa stumbled with his next sentence. “No, I’m joking, sorry, I shouldn’t have called, you should sleep, I’m just being dumb, please hang up.” He threw his arm over his eyes to block out the world, waiting for the beep of the call ending. It didn’t come.

The silence that followed made him think that they had hung up and he had just missed it, until he heard them exhale loudly. “Issei…” He grunted in response. “Are you okay?”

“...Yes,” he lied.

“Are you _sure_?” they pressed.

“......No,” he admitted, if it hadn’t already be clear by the late night phone call.

“Then what’s up?” they asked again, sounding much more awake than the first time.

Matsukawa had to think about why he was even calling in the first place and couldn’t come to an answer that he liked. One that wouldn’t embarrass him at least. An idea came suddenly, but it was a gamble. “Can you meet me somewhere?” he asked quietly.

There was a long silence from the other end. “Where?” came their eventual reply, along with some shuffling.

There wasn’t much of anything convenient for either of them. “The long bridge near the school,” he said. It wasn’t that close, but it was quiet there.

“Okay. I’ll see you soon,” Hanamaki said and hung up. Matsukawa sat up in bed. He hadn’t thought that they would agree so quickly and scrambled to grab some clothes. It was a warm night out so he only needed a t-shirt and shorts. As quietly as he could, he slipped on his tennis shoes and left the house.

While walking there he thought and thought and thought about what he would say to Hanamaki. Dragging them out of bed, in the middle of the night. Some friend he was. He hadn’t even figured it out by the time he approached the bridge. They were already waiting, back to him, staring across the river to the bank on the other side. The sound of his footsteps made them turn. The pink of their hair caught some of the light from the street lamps. Their freckles mirrored the clusters of stars in the sky and pale skin seemed to almost glow in the moonlight. If it hadn’t been for their incredibly tacky choice of clothing, Matsukawa would have mistaken them for some other worldly spirit. They looked so beautiful, and it only made him feel worse for calling them out here.

He walked straight up to Hanamaki, forgoing a greeting to press his face into the crook of their neck. They just barely stumbled backwards before he wrapped his arms around them tightly. They brought their own arms up, gently placing their hands against his back. He breathed deeply, smelling the lingering smell of roses from their soap. A familiar smell that he could never get enough of.

After a moment of silence that didn’t help soothe his nerves at all, Hanamaki spoke. “So _why_ did you want to meet?” They weren’t trying to be snarky, but there was the barest hint of sass in their words.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he said, voice muffled between their two bodies.

Hanamaki snorted. “If I called you every time I couldn’t sleep, we’d both be sleep deprived.” That didn’t help Matsukawa feel any better about making them meet him. They rested their head against his casually. They were so relaxed in his arm, he was a bit envious, wishing he could calm his mind.

“Sorry,” he said, arms tightening around them, fearing that they would try to pull away.

They clasped their hands loosely behind his back, gently pressing him closer. “You don’t have to be sorry, but I’d like it if you told me what was wrong,” they spoke quietly, making him feel as if he was a frightened animal.

He didn’t want to say it, but Hanamaki was waiting, and the silence made him more uncomfortable the longer it lasted. “You deserve better,” he said quietly.

“Deserve better than what?” they prompted.

“Deserve better than me,” he admitted.

Hanamaki snorted the way that they do when they think somebody is saying something ridiculous. That someone is usually Oikawa. “How could I possibly find someone better than you, when you are the best?” they argued.

“... But I’m not…” He knew that he was a mess and could list out all his flaws as he has done in his head so many times. But to try and explain it, to actually say everything out loud, would be too much. He knew that Hanamaki would disagree, they would always fight for him. Just the fact that they would do that already proved that they were far more deserving of him.

Hanamaki broke into his spiraling train of thought. “Name one person who’s better than you?”

He thought of people they knew at school. “Tenshi?” The person who scored perfect marks on everything.

“I don’t know, I heard he’s a loud snorer.”

“What about Aiko?” The class hottie.

“Too stiff.”

“And Kazuki?” Local star athlete.

“Really? Kazuki? You know he’s a total jerk right? What exactly makes these people better than you?”

“Just… everything?” They were all better than him in his mind.

He heard a sigh then something wet and sharp tug on his ear. Flinching, he pulled his head back and wiped at his ear looking confused. Had they _bit_ him? Hanamaki smiled.

“There you are.” They placed their hands on either side of his head and pulled him down slightly to place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “There’s no one better than you,” they said, giving him a serious look.

He was about to say something when they shushed him. “No, don’t argue. Just listen.” They kissed his right cheek. “No one could make me as happy as you do.” They kissed his other cheek. “You are the sweetest person I know.” They kissed the tip of his nose. “You know how to get me to laugh.” They kissed him on the lips. Their lips were soft pressed against his and they lingered for a moment. “What can I do to convince you otherwise?”

Matsukawa felt the lump in his throat and hugged Hanamaki tightly. “You’re doing a pretty good job right now,” he said, fighting to get the words out. Hanamaki rubbed his back comfortingly. Long fingers pulling at his shirt as they pressed against his back to rub his worries away. Even though doubts ran through his mind, he felt better hearing them praise him. He wished he could have recorded those words, to play them back when he needed to hear them. But he’d be embarrassed to ask them to do that.

They both stood there until Hanamaki started to grow restless. They shifted their weight, but waited until Matsukawa relaxed his grip. Keeping his arms around them, he pulled away.

“Better?” they asked.

“Better than before,” he replied.

“Do you need more time?”

“I’ll be fine. We both need to go sleep.” He let go and tried to step away but Hanamaki held onto him. He looked at them, furrowing his eyebrows. “What?” he asked as they stared at him.

“Let me come over,” they said.

“Hiro… You know I have to be up early…” he tried to explain, but they wouldn’t let him go. No was clearly out of the question. They stared at each other. “...Alright,” he gave in. They smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

“You won’t regret it,” they said cheerily.

Matsukawa snorted weakly with amusement, “I already am.” Even without trying Hanamaki was cheering him up. They clasped hands and started the walk back towards his house.

Neither of them said much as they walked through the streets, not wanting to wake anyone up, but Hanamaki still knew how to have fun. They swung their hands back and forth, pulling Matsukawa along with them in a childish fashion. There was a detour into the park where the playground was. They headed straight for the slide and pulled him up the stairs. Awkwardly, they slid down together.

“You’re ridiculous,” Matsukawa said to them, as he followed them over the metal jungle gym.

They stopped in the middle, waiting for him to come closer and pulled him into a kiss, more teasing than before. With a quick nip at his lips they pulled back. “Isn’t that why you fell in love with me?” they teased, continuing before he could respond. It was unfair, the way Hanamaki played with him, but he couldn’t help but enjoy it.

Once they reached the other side of the park, the clasped hands again and continued on their way. There were only a few more blocks until they reached his house, but they took their time, walking slowly down the barely lit path. Matsukawa was feeling way better about himself, and maybe just a bit love drunk as he kept looking over at Hanamaki.

Sneaking inside had been easy, yet they both sighed heavily as they laid down on Matsukawa’s bed. Hanamaki inched closer to kiss him. It was a slow kiss, that lead them to making out. Even though he never wanted it to end, exhaustion was pulling at him. When they pulled away, Hanamaki yawned, making Matsukawa yawn as well. It was very late at night, or really early in the morning and they would only have a few hours to sleep.

“We should sleep,” they whispered.

“Turn around,” Matsukawa said.

In the dark, he could almost see their eyebrow quirk upwards as they asked, “Why?”

“Let me spoon you,” he said seriously, but could hear them stifle a laugh. They obeyed, and scooted back against him. Pressing their bodies together, Matsukawa wrapped his arms around them and pressed his face against the back of their neck, breathing deeply. The smell of roses came to him again and comforted him. He knew it was weird, but Hanamaki hadn’t minded. “I love you,” he whispered.

Hanamaki rested their hand on top of his arm and gently squeezed. “I love you too,” they said quietly, sleep already pulling them under. It didn’t take long before both of them were fast asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> Adult life is a pain in the butt, so here I am with a short fic about Matsukawa being a mess, like me.   
> Ain't exactly rainbows and sunshine, but you know we all want someone out there like Hanamaki to make us feel better during the worst of times.


End file.
